Wednesday 17 October 2012

Desperate Housewife aka A Cry for Help

Hey, does anyone remember the last flowchart I made?

Well, for some reason, we seemed to have more options way back in June 2010.  Here's the current Plan for my contacts during labour: 

Now, this won't be a problem at all.  In fact, we can completely ignore the bright yellow panic icon if the baby hangs out in utero till November 6th (I'll be just about 37 weeks along) (at which time the sun seekers will have returned from their vacation*).  However, the doctorb has repeatedly gotten my hopes up warned me that this one is ready for an early exit.

Which leaves us with a two-week window in which the arrival of Punchy will be more ... problematic... than not. 

So, faithful reader(s),** I throw myself on your mercy!!!  The kids, of course, are in daycare (and the Amazing Amanda has been picking them up from our house every morning - incredible!!!), and in the unlikely event*** that the baby should arrive in the middle of the night, you'd just be needed to show up, sleep, eat breakfast with two deeeeelightful Hufflings, etc, until Chris can come home from the hospital.  Any takers?  We have cable and internet, a stocked freezer and liquor cabinet, are close to downtown and RCMP HQ (hint hint), and we would be in your debt forever.

So, really, please let me know if this would be an option for any of you.  Please.  Think of this as a telethon to update my flowchart, but with less entertainment.  And more desperation. 

The Fine Print:  An offer of help could possibly result in a phone call at 2 am, requiring you to leave your nice warm bed/bar and sleep at our place.  The kids wake up at 7, and get picked up at the door around 8/8:30.  They need to be picked up by 5 pm (but I can negotiate with Amanda for a drop-off, too - did I mention she's amazing?), and honestly, once the labour part of the hospital stuff is over, I don't need Chris around, so your time commitment wouldn't extend past, oh, 12 hours or so. The "debt forever" bit is true, but we can bargain - how would you like our first born son?  He's really quite something...

* Query:  if you're already retired, do you really need to take vacations?  Really?  From what, exactly?

** Of course, if you're a random stranger reading this, maybe you should skip this part.

*** "Unlikely" in that, sure, the last two were born at 5:20 and 6:45 am, respectively.  At one point during labour with Ailsa, I saw Chris look at the clock, and I said, "I know what you're thinking."  "Do you?" he said.  "You're thinking, 'I bet some people have babies at reasonable times of day,' aren't you?"  He was.


SICC Site said...

When we booked this trip, the three weeks leeway sounded fine - now it's time to sit down/lie down and put your feet up, do nothing! Just hold on until November 5th - our flight gets in at 5 pm, so if Amanda could keep the others till we get there it will all work out. I have faith in you! Oh waitaminute! You arrived 2 weeks early and threw all of our well laid plans out the window! We'll just keep our fingers crossed that this child is going to be more considerate!
p.s. Personally I think we deserve a vacation - it has been a very busy summer and we expect to be very busy when we get back. Maybe I can move in with you again to help with Christmas?

Garrett Family said...

I wished we lived closer. I would definitely be up for the job!

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