Monday 8 September 2008

Sleep all day/Ralph all night

The adventures of the PDD (Perpetual Designated Driver) are in full swing!

This past weekend, I, the award-winning wiff (well, I SHOULD win an award!) banked enough sparkly things points to get me a full diamond tiara and matching drop earrings.

I went straight to bed at about 4:30 on Friday afternoon, for a wee nap. I woke up at 7:30, with my husband innocently looking at me and saying, “well, I would have woken you up sooner, but I figured that if you had a really long nap, you’d be able to stay up later tonight”. Ah. How… sweet.

We got to Ralph’s at 9 pm, for a combination going-away party and two birthdays. Ralph's Texas Bar and Steakhouse (actual motto: Life’s too short to go anywhere else) is a giant restaurant / sports bar / dance hall, specializing in country music and, apparently, shooters. By the time we arrived, the Medicine Hat All-Star Drinking Team (they even had matching t-shirts) was well oiled (they apparently started just as I lay down for my nap, to give you an idea), and the country tunes were a-blarin’. I drank heavily (water…water…water…), feeling quite inappropriate and out of place. This was partially due to my sobriety (which I’m still getting used to…not to mention that I was probably the only one at Ralph’s who wasn’t drinking!), and mostly due to the fact that, at 5 months pregnant, what the heck am I doing at a bar???

But I talked, I laughed, I two-stepped with two different men (getting the hang of it, but will need more practice!), and made it to about 12:30 before I decided that I really had to go home, not being drunk or anything. So I gathered up my Boozy Smurf, and headed for bed. Oh wait, no I didn’t. (I thought I had been smart, when, at dinner, I made sure there was enough leftover grilled cheese to soothe the hunger of a savage beastie, and prevent a stop “on the way home” for post-bar snacks. No dice.) We drove ALL THE WAY to Wendy’s for junior cheeseburgers. And then to bed.

Saturday was equally exhausting. An early morning phone call (hi Jenny!) got me up and… well, in front of Saturday morning tv (we got cable last Wednesday – it’s like a whole new world has opened up to me… for example, I watched an episode of Zoe 101. Kaff) until I roused the dragon for breakfast, which was at noon. The ‘lump wanted French toast, so we went to Perkins (yes! They have a Perkins in the Hat!) and greased ourselves up, then undertook 4 hours of comparison shopping for stereos, cribs, freezers, strollers, and towels. It was too much information, sensory input and excitement, and I was a zombie before we left the second store… and then I dragged my swollen self around after Chris for 3 more hours. Luckily, every store had a furniture section, which I made use of, by “testing” ottomans, sofas, recliners...while Chris did the work.

I was granted a 1-hour nap, before getting up and getting ready for – where else – Ralph’s again! Another birthday, but this one involved a steak dinner first (yay!) before the round after round of shooters. It seemed to be the same playlist as the night before, and I was able to go two-stepping again - and I think I’m improving! We stayed out till 1:30, then went back to another couple’s house so that everyone (else) could keep partying – I was propped up on a sofa with lots of pillows…and a glass of water…) and finally got home at about 2:30. What a wiff!

On Sunday, I suggested that we go to Ralph’s again, since we were on such a roll. I was denied.

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